The blog title is from a song called I Was Broken, by Marcus Foster. I am including the lyrics, plus a link to a recording of the song.
http://aimini.net/view/?fid=G2CYin213HYYiudAMWYh
I Was Broken – Lyrics by Marcus Foster
I was tied, but now unbound
My head is off the ground
For a long time I was so weary
Tired of the sound, I've heard before,
The gnawing of the night time at the door,
Haunted by the things I've made
Stuck between the burning light and the dust shade.
I said now I used to think the past was dead and gone,
But I was wrong, so wrong, whatever makes you blind
Must make you strong, make you strong,
In my time I've melted into many forms
From the day that I was born, I know that there's no place to hide
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light,
I was broken, For a long time, but It's over now.
Yes and you, and you,
well you walk these lonely streets that people send, People send.
There are some wounds that just can't mend, I do pretend, pretend,
I am free from all the things that take my friends
But I will stand hear till the end, I know that I can take the moon,
In between the burning shade and the fading light
I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now
I was broken, for a long time, but It's over now
The reason I am including this song in my blog today, is because I love it. A story of a person who has been to that place they couldn't get away from for a long time...and was stuck there. I felt that way for years. Maybe not totally broken, but definitely not whole. What I love the most this song , is the lyrics that have such feelings of pain, and then when you think it can't get any worse there is the line BUT IT'S OVER NOW...
I truly believe that I am slowly putting my struggle with weight behind me. And as I shed the pounds I feel like I'm discovering pieces of myself again. For the first time in my life, having the strength to make this transformation makes me feel whole again.
I was broken, for a long time, but it's over now.
I feel whole, joyous, and free of all the road blocks standing in my way. It's such a great feeling. I don't ever remember being this happy with myself.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A lesson from Twilight revisited and final thoughts on my Masters Journey.
This is the last reflection I have to submit for my Masters course. This has been a wonderful two years of transformation and awakening. When I first decided to take the course, I didn’t realize how “stuck” I was. I loved my job, and it was joyous, but I was really inspired by the learning of other people on my staff. The conversations that we had around the staffroom table were inspiring, and they were leading other staff members to improve their practice, and were building great connections with each other. I was yearning for that in my teaching and life. I didn’t realize fully, how flat my energy was and how unhealthy my practice, spirit, and self were becoming.
But I must have known on some level, and thank goodness had the will to seek something better.
How do we change? Tom Peters say it’s with real work and processes, and being connecting with improving performance. Murray Bowen says it all begins with awareness, and that awareness is movement. I believe that is true too, but without the real work behind it, seeking change and betterment just becomes words. I have learned the true value of standing behind your words. For years I have been looking at improving my health. I would get all excited and juiced up about losing weight or exercising, and then it would last about a month, and I would go back to my original habits. Or get all excited about some professional development workshop, and tell myself, you need to apply this to your teaching, and never do it. I have had two years of amazing learning, and on September 18th I could be completely finished the degree, and will be. It is essential for me to honour that process and the growth that has happened, and to continue to grow and reflect on my learning. If I don’t do anymore after September 18th, and say to myself, “Wow, I’m finished. No more assignments, reflections, and just going to take the money and run!”...would be like being handed Hank Williams guitar, and letting it sit in the case on the corner of the room collecting dust.
So here is where the real work comes. I have surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people who are like minded in continuing to improve their practices and their learning, and I have asked two people to check in with me once a month to make sure I am keeping true to my goals. I have given them a copy of professional platform, and I plan continue to reflect in my blog, as well as my platform. I also realize one of the most important things I need to improve upon is my will and strength to follow through on my goals. To have then is great, to achieve them is divine.
When I was traveling over to my niece's wedding in Langley I gave into temptation and started reading Twilight. I am an avid reader and lover of good stories, but I had put this one off. I had made a deal with myself that I would read it after I had finished my Masters. But on the ferry ride over I needed something to read, and after two years of reading research and non-fiction I was ready for a novel. So I caved to temptation and bought the book. It was so good I finished the book in one day, and because it is a saga, four books in total, I bought the next ones the next morning. I had to find out what was going to happen next. I love books like that. I was mesmerized, and really surprised that I enjoyed it so much. I am thinking it is the best love story since Elizabeth Bennett and Mark Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. All of that aside, I actually found a lesson for myself in the book, which surprised me even further.
No I'm not jumping on the team Edward or team Jacob bandwagon, nor am I rushing out to buy myself a pair of g-string panties with Edward's name written on them. I'm after all I'm 35 years old. What I really loved in the book was Edward's strength and fortitude around is relationship with Bella. She's human, he's a vampire. His whole desire is to suck every inch of blood out of her. He even refers to her as her own personal brand of heroin. Sometimes I feel that was about food, and I was surprised how much I really admired Edward's restraint. He doesn't give in. To consume Bella is something he wants so badly, but he wants the relationship even more, so he uses every ounce of his will and personal fortitude to have a relationship with someone he wants to devour.
Wow. I love food. Sometimes I feel it so hard to keep on track and eat what's healthy. But what I truly desire even more than food, is to be a slimmer, healthier version of myself. SO I am going to take a lesson from Edward Cullen (I can't believe I'm saying this), and really focus on what matters most to me right now. A healthy Me in all areas.
And when I feel temptation running through my veins, or the wavering feeling of giving up, I will remember a teenage vampire, and his will to achieve what he desires most.
But I must have known on some level, and thank goodness had the will to seek something better.
How do we change? Tom Peters say it’s with real work and processes, and being connecting with improving performance. Murray Bowen says it all begins with awareness, and that awareness is movement. I believe that is true too, but without the real work behind it, seeking change and betterment just becomes words. I have learned the true value of standing behind your words. For years I have been looking at improving my health. I would get all excited and juiced up about losing weight or exercising, and then it would last about a month, and I would go back to my original habits. Or get all excited about some professional development workshop, and tell myself, you need to apply this to your teaching, and never do it. I have had two years of amazing learning, and on September 18th I could be completely finished the degree, and will be. It is essential for me to honour that process and the growth that has happened, and to continue to grow and reflect on my learning. If I don’t do anymore after September 18th, and say to myself, “Wow, I’m finished. No more assignments, reflections, and just going to take the money and run!”...would be like being handed Hank Williams guitar, and letting it sit in the case on the corner of the room collecting dust.
So here is where the real work comes. I have surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people who are like minded in continuing to improve their practices and their learning, and I have asked two people to check in with me once a month to make sure I am keeping true to my goals. I have given them a copy of professional platform, and I plan continue to reflect in my blog, as well as my platform. I also realize one of the most important things I need to improve upon is my will and strength to follow through on my goals. To have then is great, to achieve them is divine.
When I was traveling over to my niece's wedding in Langley I gave into temptation and started reading Twilight. I am an avid reader and lover of good stories, but I had put this one off. I had made a deal with myself that I would read it after I had finished my Masters. But on the ferry ride over I needed something to read, and after two years of reading research and non-fiction I was ready for a novel. So I caved to temptation and bought the book. It was so good I finished the book in one day, and because it is a saga, four books in total, I bought the next ones the next morning. I had to find out what was going to happen next. I love books like that. I was mesmerized, and really surprised that I enjoyed it so much. I am thinking it is the best love story since Elizabeth Bennett and Mark Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. All of that aside, I actually found a lesson for myself in the book, which surprised me even further.
No I'm not jumping on the team Edward or team Jacob bandwagon, nor am I rushing out to buy myself a pair of g-string panties with Edward's name written on them. I'm after all I'm 35 years old. What I really loved in the book was Edward's strength and fortitude around is relationship with Bella. She's human, he's a vampire. His whole desire is to suck every inch of blood out of her. He even refers to her as her own personal brand of heroin. Sometimes I feel that was about food, and I was surprised how much I really admired Edward's restraint. He doesn't give in. To consume Bella is something he wants so badly, but he wants the relationship even more, so he uses every ounce of his will and personal fortitude to have a relationship with someone he wants to devour.
Wow. I love food. Sometimes I feel it so hard to keep on track and eat what's healthy. But what I truly desire even more than food, is to be a slimmer, healthier version of myself. SO I am going to take a lesson from Edward Cullen (I can't believe I'm saying this), and really focus on what matters most to me right now. A healthy Me in all areas.
And when I feel temptation running through my veins, or the wavering feeling of giving up, I will remember a teenage vampire, and his will to achieve what he desires most.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
A lesson for me in the book Twilight? Wow.
When I was traveling over to my niece's wedding in Langley I gave into temptation and started reading Twilight. I am an avid reader and lover of good stories, but I had put this one off. I had made a deal with myself that I would read it after I had finished my Masters. But on the ferry ride over I needed something to read, and after two years of reading research and non-fiction I was ready for a novel. So I caved to temptation and bought the book. It was so good I finished the book in one day, and because it is a saga, four books in total, I bought the next ones the next morning. I had to find out what was going to happen next. I love books like that. I was mesmerized, and really surprised that I enjoyed it so much. It am thinking it is the best love story since Elizabeth Bennett and Mark Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. All of that aside, I actually found a lesson for myself in the book, which surprised me even further.
No I'm not jumping on the team Edward or team Jacob bandwagon, nor am I rushing out to buy myself a pair of g-string panties with Edward's name written on them. I'm after all 35 years old. What I really loved in the book was Edward's strength and fortitude around is relationship with Bella. She's human, he's a vampire. His whole desire is to suck every inch of blood out of her. He even refers to her as her own personal brand of heroin. Sometimes I feel that was about food, and I was surprised how much I really admired Edward's restraint. He doesn't give in. To consume Bella is something he wants so badly, but he wants the relationship even more, so he uses every ounce of his will and personal fortitude to have a relationship with someone he wants to devour.
Wow. I love food. Sometimes I feel it so hard to keep on track and eat what's healthy. But what I truly desire even more than food, is to be a slimmer, healthier version of myself. SO I am going to take a lesson from Edward Cullen ( I can't believe I'm saying this), and really focus on what matters most to me right now. A healthy Me.
And when I feel temptation running through my veins, I will remember a teenage vampire, and his will to achieve what he desires most.
No I'm not jumping on the team Edward or team Jacob bandwagon, nor am I rushing out to buy myself a pair of g-string panties with Edward's name written on them. I'm after all 35 years old. What I really loved in the book was Edward's strength and fortitude around is relationship with Bella. She's human, he's a vampire. His whole desire is to suck every inch of blood out of her. He even refers to her as her own personal brand of heroin. Sometimes I feel that was about food, and I was surprised how much I really admired Edward's restraint. He doesn't give in. To consume Bella is something he wants so badly, but he wants the relationship even more, so he uses every ounce of his will and personal fortitude to have a relationship with someone he wants to devour.
Wow. I love food. Sometimes I feel it so hard to keep on track and eat what's healthy. But what I truly desire even more than food, is to be a slimmer, healthier version of myself. SO I am going to take a lesson from Edward Cullen ( I can't believe I'm saying this), and really focus on what matters most to me right now. A healthy Me.
And when I feel temptation running through my veins, I will remember a teenage vampire, and his will to achieve what he desires most.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
May 2009 Masters Reflection
This was a big weekend for me. I had spent six weeks preparing for it. We had to give a group technology presentation to our cohort members, and when the assignment was given, I had to admit my fear level went up. I am on the computer a lot, but up to this point had not used it a lot in my teachings in the music room. I am too busy getting kids to play marimba instruments, drums recorder in my 30 minute lessons to add computers into it. So I had a big learning curve.
I met with my group once sometimes twice a week to get out technology project ready. I had to learn how to blog, use xtranormal movie maker, about glogster, photostory, and how to create school community through technology using a NING. I was learning quickly. Even though our NING was created for an example in our presentation, My page became a piece of my identity, and extension of myself. I spent hours learning how to post blogs, create characters, network with other colleagues for problem shooting. I used Twitter to gather ideas from other technology teachers, used FACEBOOK to network with fellow classmates, and used google docs to bring our vision of a school community to life. I was completely immersed for six weeks. I am sure I even was talking in my sleep using phrases like Search-Cube and Wordle. I was passionate about my learning, almost to the point of being over- zealous, which I have been known to be from time to time, and I lost a part of my vision along the way.
The learners of today are of the net generation, and I am not. They are more fluent in the use of the computer and networking than I am. They are connected, independent, open, expressive, and they learn by exploring. It is essential for educators to take that into account as we are teaching them. Students today are not finding the community that they seek and need, in the present educational model, and are finding it online. Anything that you wanted to ever know is on the computer at the push of a button. We as educators need be be innovative with the way we are teaching students today, and as well as keeping current with the technology use for learning. For myself I have passion for what I am doing in spades, and I know need to match it with the demands of our technological environment and language of the new learner in order to keep the passion of learning for them alive. This has really opened my eyes to the learning that I need to to do to be current and relevant for my students, and I plan to edit my professional platform to incorporate technology professional development, as well as develop a plan in which I incorporate technology into my teaching, and my music room.
This masters program is coming to a close in the next couple of months. The transformation that has happened inside of me is extraordinary. My passion for learning is alive, and the possibilities seem endless. And to think it all started with throwing a rock in the water. Thanks Doug, for throwing it in.
I met with my group once sometimes twice a week to get out technology project ready. I had to learn how to blog, use xtranormal movie maker, about glogster, photostory, and how to create school community through technology using a NING. I was learning quickly. Even though our NING was created for an example in our presentation, My page became a piece of my identity, and extension of myself. I spent hours learning how to post blogs, create characters, network with other colleagues for problem shooting. I used Twitter to gather ideas from other technology teachers, used FACEBOOK to network with fellow classmates, and used google docs to bring our vision of a school community to life. I was completely immersed for six weeks. I am sure I even was talking in my sleep using phrases like Search-Cube and Wordle. I was passionate about my learning, almost to the point of being over- zealous, which I have been known to be from time to time, and I lost a part of my vision along the way.
The learners of today are of the net generation, and I am not. They are more fluent in the use of the computer and networking than I am. They are connected, independent, open, expressive, and they learn by exploring. It is essential for educators to take that into account as we are teaching them. Students today are not finding the community that they seek and need, in the present educational model, and are finding it online. Anything that you wanted to ever know is on the computer at the push of a button. We as educators need be be innovative with the way we are teaching students today, and as well as keeping current with the technology use for learning. For myself I have passion for what I am doing in spades, and I know need to match it with the demands of our technological environment and language of the new learner in order to keep the passion of learning for them alive. This has really opened my eyes to the learning that I need to to do to be current and relevant for my students, and I plan to edit my professional platform to incorporate technology professional development, as well as develop a plan in which I incorporate technology into my teaching, and my music room.
This masters program is coming to a close in the next couple of months. The transformation that has happened inside of me is extraordinary. My passion for learning is alive, and the possibilities seem endless. And to think it all started with throwing a rock in the water. Thanks Doug, for throwing it in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
